Thursday, March 6, 2008

Deal with deviant kids carefully

Children have begun taking to violence at the drop of a hat. They simply pick up a gun or knife and get violent at anyone they carry a grudge against. It is not that they don’t know what they are doing — they fully well know the consequences and go ahead anyway.
It is up to the parents to catch the early signs of aggression in their children and deal with it in a positive manner. If you think your child is more violent than warranted, check for these behaviour patterns.

* Is either aloof or overfriendly.
* Loses temper even for petty issues.
* Hits physically, uses abusive language.
* Is unable to maintain the rules of a game, uses a bat or racquet as a weapon if the situation goes out of hand.
* Short span of verbal interactions with peers and siblings.
* Highly energetic while watching violent clippings or playing violent video games.
* Poor scholastic performance.
* Frequent temper tantrums in the form of banging head against the wall and throwing whatever comes in hand.

Before things go out of hand, parents can intervene and manage the child’s deviant behaviour. Spend quality time with your children — listen to them, respect their ideas and choices. Any disapproval or rejection should be very tactful. Take proper measures if your child has a complaint of bullying or teasing. Keep a vigilant eye on their language, peers and games. Give them space to grow — too many restrictions lead to frustration and low self-esteem. Divert them towards creative activities like sports and music.

Discuss consequences of aberrant behaviour tactfully; help them differentiate between desirable and deviant conduct. Always criticise the deed, not the doer. Encourage them to ignore situations that provoke violent behaviour through deep breathing and reverse counting. Ensure that you do not display any aggression. Have frequent meetings with teachers, counsellor and psychologist so that intervention works in uniformity.